Kajko, Weisman & Colasanti, LLP
Lexington & Cambridge (781) 325-1786
Andover & Danvers (978) 296-5107
Nashua Office (603) 883-9649
Schedule a Consultation With a Knowledgeable Attorney
(781) 325-1786
Contact Menu
A full-Service Law Firm Representing Clients Throughout Massachusetts

Why focusing on blame can negatively affect your divorce process

Blame is a loaded word and a loaded concept. Generally, when someone does something positive, he or she is given “credit.” When an individual does something negative, he or she is showered with “blame.” Because blame is such a loaded word and concept, it is best to be conscious of how you are reacting to blame and placing blame during your divorce process.

During divorce mediation, spouses attempt to mutually agree on property division matters and a host of other issues that will ultimately inform their divorce settlement agreement. When blame is thrown around a mediation setting, it can stop the process in its tracks. Similarly, when blame is given a passive-aggressive presence in a mediation setting, it can significantly inform the process.

You cannot control whether or not your spouse will engage in “The Blame Game” during mediation, nor can you control whether or not your spouse will engage in passive-aggressive behaviors designed to make you feel as if you should be blamed for any given thing. However, you can control how you react to your spouse’s blame game and you can control whether or not you will choose to engage in these kinds of behaviors.

In the end, blame is a negative concept and can therefore inspire a host of defensive and otherwise negative reactions in a mediation setting. If you want your divorce mediation to be a success, it is important to think critically about blame and to avoid engaging in blame-related behaviors whenever possible within a mediation setting.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Positive Divorce: From Blame to Forgiveness,” John McElhenney, May 20, 2014

No Comments

Leave a comment
Comment Information

Privacy Policy | Business Development Solutions by FindLaw, part of Thomson Reuters.

We accept credit cards:

Master Card VISA

Kajko, Weisman & Colasanti, LLP

Lexington Office
430 Bedford Street
Suite 190
Lexington, MA 02420

Phone: 781-325-1786
Fax: 781-861-1833
Lexington Law Office Map

Nashua Office
20 Trafalgar Square, Suite 434, Office 64
Nashua, NH 03063

Phone: 603-883-9649
Fax: 781-861-1833
Map & Directions

Andover Office
68 Main Street
Suite 4
Andover, MA 01810

Toll Free: 978-296-5107
Fax: 978-470-3874
Map & Directions

Back To Top