Preparing to tell your spouse that you want a divorce

If you have decided that divorcing your spouse is the healthiest choice you can make for your future, you have already taken a tremendous step forward in terms of crafting the next phase of your life. However, in order to make a successful transition from married to single, you must first tell your spouse of your intentions and ultimately weather the divorce process.

There is no one “right” way to tell your spouse that you want a divorce. Only you can truly know how to best approach your spouse in regards to this issue. However, it may take some planning on your part in order to ensure that the message you are delivering is conveyed in the most productive and respectful ways possible. As you are planning, you may want to keep a few tips in mind.

First, it is important that you are safe. If you have any reason to fear that your spouse will become violent when you deliver your message, plan to tell him or her in the presence of others, possibly in public. Otherwise, consider giving you and your spouse some privacy and ensure that your children are not anywhere near the location where you have chosen to break the news.

Second, consider emphasizing the fact that you are doing this not because of anything your spouse has done wrong but simply because it is the healthiest choice you can make for yourself. It is far more difficult to remain angry at someone for making a healthy personal decision than it is to get angry in response to criticism or explicitly directed rejection.

Source: The Huffington Post, “7 End-of-Relationship Scripts to Help You Call It Quits,” Abby Rodman, Oct. 1, 2014

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