Kajko, Weisman & Colasanti, LLP

Are you making excuses when you should be making plans to divorce?

Be it a relationship with a friend, co-worker, parent or sibling; every relationship has it's challenges that, at times, may leave one feelings as though he or she wants to throw in the towel. In most cases, the most-challenging relationship to maintain and sustain is the one between spouses.

As time marches on and changes and stressors associated with jobs, children and financial responsibilities develop and evolve; many married couples experience difficulties within their own relationships. If not addressed, some of these issues can serve to drive an ever-widening wedge between spouses and lead to infidelity, mistrust, hostility and general apathy.

Yet, despite being faced with the increasingly obvious reality that one’s marriage is broken beyond repair, a significant percentage of individuals choose to remain unhappily wed. This is true despite the widespread acceptance of divorce in the U.S. as well as the increased percentage of women who work outside the home and are therefore more financially independent.

The wellbeing of shared children is one of the major reasons frequently cited by individuals who stay in unhappy marriages. Yes, there’s no doubt that divorce can be difficult on children. Adjusting to new living arrangements, changing financial circumstances and a parent’s new love interest can be confusing and painful. However, the damage caused to a child who is forced to live in a hostile and tension-filled home cannot be overstated. Nor can the adverse and long-lasting effects that growing up in such a dysfunctional environment can have on a child’s life and ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.

Let’s face it. No one gets married thinking that divorce is or will ever be an option. This is why many individuals continue to make excuses and refuse to view divorce, not as a sign of failure, but as the opportunity to have a happier and less stressful life for both oneself and one’s children.

Source: The Huffington Post, “Ways People Justify Staying in a Bad Marriage,” Jackie Pilossoph, Nov. 11, 2015

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