When married couples opt to remain together for the sake of their children, they often end up fighting frequently. Even when these couples attempt to fight away from their children, the tension that these fights produce may be felt by children long after harsh words have been spoken. Although these findings may be contradictory to what many Americans have been taught, numerous studies confirm that it is not always best to remain in unhappy or unhealthy marriages for the sake of one’s children.
Although divorce can be difficult for children and teens to navigate, the divorce process itself is often far less harmful than the effects of growing up in a tense, unhappy and unhealthy household. Most well-meaning parents cannot disguise their unhappiness with their spouses for long. It is therefore often better for children to weather divorce than to remain continually exposed to tense, unhappy and ultimately unhealthy forces.
Once you navigate the initial aftermath of your divorce, you can focus on ensuring that your future is healthier and happier than your marriage has been. Even if your children initially resist the positive example you are setting, they will likely benefit as a result of your efforts. Your example will not only teach them about the importance of self-care and self-respect, it will teach them resilience, flexibility and a broader understanding of relationships.
A tense, negative married household is not often better for children than separate, healthier households are. Please take comfort in this knowledge if you are concerned about what your divorce may be doing to your children.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Why a Good Divorce Is Better Than a Bad Marriage for Kids,” Brette Sember, March 24, 2015