There is no doubt that divorce is an emotional event, whether you are relieved to be ending a broken marriage or devastated by the fact that it could not be repaired. Many people experience a wide range of emotions during this process, and they can and do change over time.
While there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to how you are feeling about your divorce, you may want to be cautious about letting your emotions influence your divorce too heavily. Of course, you cannot simply take them out of the process, but there are a few in particular that you should be especially careful with.
- Anger can make you say and do things you later regret. Divorcing spouses motivated by anger or vengefulness do things like make false allegations in court, hide assets and violate court orders. These behaviors can have a detrimental impact on your case, so it can be wise to focus on controlling your anger and keeping it in check.
- Bitterness can make people more stubborn than they typically would be. If you are bitter or resentful that your ex cheated during your marriage or has already moved on, you can feel motivated to make him or her pay for that by arguing over every detail of your settlement. Ultimately, however, you may not just be hurting your ex; you can also be hurting yourself.
- Guilt, on the other hand, can make you give in to demands that are not necessarily in your best interests. If you feel guilty, you might agree to things like less custody or exorbitant alimony demands. While it might alleviate some of your guilt in the short-term, you may wind up paying the price indefinitely.
Because it can be so difficult to set these emotions aside on your own, we encourage you to have by your side a family law attorney who can help you keep your situation in perspective. At the end of the process, you will want to be sure you have in place a fair divorce settlement, and that can be jeopardized if you are acting strictly on the whim of your emotions. An attorney can help you understand your rights and take a more objective approach in seeking what you need and deserve.